1. Let’s play My Boyfriend for the Nintendo DS - Part 5

     Parts: 1, 2, 34

    Alright, here we are at the sick party. So let’s talk to our ex-friend.



    Dream Guy: Hello! Great that you’re here too! Errr…

     Ex-Friend: Hey! What have we here? I didn’t know the circus was in town?

    Yes, you’re reading that right. This game is using the time old dress-up-party-wasn’t-actually-a-dress-up-party trope. Just when I started to have a bit of faith in it. So how will we get out of this one?!

    Friend: Wow! Whatever made you wear that costume?

    Ex-Friend: Hello! The carnival is over! Or is that maybe the most chic of party outfits?

    Me: What? What do you mean? I thought…it was a theme party…you told me that yourself…

    Passer-By: Oh man! How embarrassing is that?

    So now random people on the street are calling mockeries to 14 year old girls in lawn parties.

    Passer-By: Did you steal that from a dolly? Or do you live in toyland?

    Wow, ok. I’m not the most fond of our main heroine, but at this point I’ll admit I was invested enough to feel hurt at that remark. Seriously, passer-by, you’re a dick.

    Passer-By: Did anyone order a clown?

    SIR. STOP.

    Passer-By: The kid’s birthday party is next door…They may want to play with you.


    So now that we’ve been publicly shamed…

    Ex-Friend: I don’t think you’re quite old enough to come to our party.

    Dream Guy: …

    Me: I have to get out of here…

    And so, we teleport back to our house.


    We have a text from our best friend.


    Time for a bitch session, methinks. So let’s go to our bestie’s garden again:



    Best Friend: What did that arrogant witch think she was doing? You can’t treat people like that…especially not us!

    Me: She made me look like a fool! I’ll make her pay for this!


    Best Friend: I have an idea, sweetie! Challenge her to a competition in front of your guy!

    Me: Do you think that would work?

    Best Friend: I do! Confront that foul witch!

    Me: Thanks! I’m so happy you’re my best friend.

    Okay, so let’s go and battle her in what I’m sure will be the most dignified of ways. We get another text:


    When did this game get so bitchy? Whatever, I’m down with it. So how to make a fool of her? We find her and the Dream Guy at the park.



    Me: We have something we need to sort out with you.

    Ex-Friend: You’re not here to whine about the party again, are you…

    Me: I challenge you to a skate rush duel!

    Ex-Friend: That will be so much fun! I’ll be waiting for you at the finish line.

    Me: Do you want to stand here chatting or will we actually do this?

    Aw hell yeah, let’s pound her. At…this:


    This is actually a lot harder than it sounds, and I’d usually skip over little glitches but I need to explain why this mini game sucks so much.

    You can only go over ramps when you’re at top speed, which you can only reach after about 7 seconds of sliding. But sometimes, right as you begin the game, there will be ramps set out like this:



    So basically, you have to cross your fingers and hope they won’t be by the beginning next time. 

    After a looooong time of playing this, we finally leave her in the dust:


    Our best friend sends us a text:


    But let’s go talk to him straight up.



    Me: Thanks…Oh man, I was so angry! You have no idea how good it feels to have beaten her.

    Dream Guy: The trick she pulled on you at the party was totally uncool. Your skate tricks were fantastic!

    Me: You think so? That almost sounds like a compliment…

    Dream Guy: It was meant as one…But I have to go now, maybe we’ll see eachother again soon? I’ll call you!

    Never hangs around for long, this lad.

    We get that text from our best friend again (I think we were meant to get it now but our best friend is psychic. So, I think it’s time for a well earned rest. We head home, but mum wants to speak to us.


    Me: Hi mum! I’m home!

    Mother: Hello darling! Oh, the phones ringing…

    Me: What? NO! Wait! I’ll get it!

    Mother: Ok, wow! You were expecting this call, weren’t you?

    Before we answer the phone, we get another text from omniscient third-person narrator guy:


    Who knows, Who knows. So, to that phone.

    Me: Hello?

    Dream Guy: (Telephone) Hello! I got your number from your best friend.

    Me: Oh…hi. She gave you my number just like that?

    Dream Guy: Of course! She recognised me at once. Does it make you uncomfortable?



    I decided to be ‘cheeky’:

    Me: How cheeky! Have you been spying on me? What do you think you’re up to!?

    Dream Guy: (Telephone) Hey…but…I only wanted to…Ok, I see this isn’t the right time….

    These options really don’t give you much of the impression of what will actually be said. From ‘cheeky’ I was going for giggle and call him cute or something, not outwardly tell him off for calling you when he said he would. 

    But he swiftly calls again, anyway, and this time I go with ‘friendly’.

    Me: No, that’s cool! You…I…how are you?

    Dream Guy: Fantastic! I was wondering if you wanted to go to the disco together some time?

    Options here are basically ‘no’ or ‘yes’, and obviously we have to say yes, so:

    Me: Really?! That would be WILD…I mean yes, I’ll meet you there. 

    Dream Guy: Cool! So it’s settled then: We’ll meet later at the disco. See you then!

    Another text from our unnamed commentator:


    Indeed, we must! 



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