1. Let’s Play My Boyfriend for the Nintendo DS - Part 7

    Parts: 1234, 5, 6

    Another tip text:



    We find him at the skate park.



    Dream Guy: What? Er, you mean the conversation in the school library? But I…

    Me: Don’t start that! You are nothing but horrible, bragging boys!

    Dream Guy: You won’t even let me explain! There’s no point in discussing this, I’m off…

    Aw come onnnn, we just got together!

    We get a text from our bestie.



    Best Friend: Hi sweetie! It sounds important, what do you want to talk to me about?

    Me: Ohhh… I am so angry with my dream guy! Get this; his friends are taking bets on whether you’ll fall in love with his best mate!

    Best Friend: You’re kidding! Well… That’s interesting… well, your dream guy’s best friend IS quite cute…



    Me: Hmm…I don’t think I want anything more to do with this idiot…

    Best Friend: You know what guys are like, they brag amongst themselves and all that…

    Me: But how immature is that? And I thought he was different…

    Best Friend: Don’t upset yourself; You shouldn’t throw your love away so hastily because of me! Talk to him!

    You know, our best friend is taking this AWFULLY well. I think I’d be a bit more bothered about guys betting on my booty.

    Me: Well…at least..he didn’t…take part in the bet….maybe…maybe he didn’t even…

    Best Friend: You see! Look, up until now he’s always behaved so perfectly… and he’s still so charming… Give him another chance!

    Me: If you say so..perhaps I was a bit hard on him!

    And then even though we’re still stood right next to her, she sends us a text, just to drive it home I guess:


    Alright, let’s do this. He’s not at the skate park anymore though, and he’s not at school. Er…I worry we may have confronted a little too hard.

    To the mall? AHA!


    There he is, with….GASP?

    Dream Guy: I think you’re right. I’m so happy you’re here for me.

    Unknown Girl: Hey, no problem! It’s my pleasure!

    Me: Hello. 

    Oh wow, I can read the deathglare in that greeting.

    Dream Guy: Oh…Hi! Er…We were just talking about you…

    Me: I came to apologise, but it seems you have found consolation in her arms instead!

    Unknown Girl: Actually I’m the…

    Me: I don’t want to hear anymore. I have seen enough already. I’m leaving.

    Dream Guy: No! Wait - it’s not like that at all!

    Worthy of Shakespearian actors, this. It’s obviously his sister or something, come on Nameless main character! We run home crying, anyway, and when we come home our boy has sent us a text.


    Let’s go find out who she actually was, then. (seriously though our dream guy is putting up with a lot of shit pretty well, so well done sir ((although i think you need some work on the rebellion)))


    Me: Hello… you wanted to talk?

    Dream Guy: Yes… I think things between us got all mixed up. Please let me explain.

    Me: I’m all ears.

    Dream Guy: That girl in the cafe was my sister…I was asking her advice, well er… about you and well… the situation between us. 

    Called it.

    Me: At least that’s one thing sorted out… I apologise. I was  angry and really unfair to you. Sorry!

    Dream Guy: I’m pleased we cleared that up. I was really upset about it…Hey, do you want to come with me? I would like to get you involved in what our clique is doing.

    Oh wow, we’re gonna be in his ~clique~. That’s 4 steps away from being in his pants, right?

    Me: That would be cool!  I would love to go with you.

    Dream Guy: Really? Cool! Then it’s agreed! We’ll meet at the info stall in the mall. See you!

    Ugh man, another location change? Ok, some sluggishly slow movement later:


    Hello boys.


    The only proper option here is ‘interest’, so:

    Me: Hey! This is really impressive! Did you guys organise the whole event?

    Honey it’s two guys stood in front of the pizza place, it’s not that impressive. Anyway, more options:


    'What's it all about?':

    Me: It’s (Oops, spelling error in-game) seems incredibly well organised to me! Leaflets, visual material, projector…and people seem to be really interested. What are you doing here exactly?

    A MOTHERFUCKING PROJECTOR? I take it back. This is an event of great importance, and it is very impressive.



    Sorry buddy, can’t hear you over these options. Sounded like you were trying to make this game an eco-PSA, so it doesn’t matter. Obviously I can’t know what to say here, so I randomly chose ‘worthwhile’:

    Me: That’s really amazing! I think it’s very commendable to raise people’s awareness of such important issues. Is raising people’s ecological awareness very important to you?

    …Ok look. I’m a 17 year old girl. I know lots of other 17 year old girls. None of us talk like this. Ever.

    Dream Guy: Yes, it sure is. I am so pleased that I could use this opportunity to show you what is close to my heart.

    We then break off from talking to our guy to get this text to tell us to keep on talking to our guy:


    So let’s carry on doing just that!

    Dream Guy: It was cool of you to accept my invitation.

    Me: Yes, I really enjoyed the day too! Thanks for the invitation.

    Dream Guy: I would love to do something else with you again some time.

    Me: I would like that too. So we’ll definitely see each other again, yeah?


    You’re right, creepy anon text person, I can’t!

    So we get on the bus to go home, but apparently Dream Guy followed us because we’re immediately jumped when we walk out of the bus stop (so fast I couldn’t get a screencap of his appearance):


    Me: You were looking for me and you found me. It must be our lucky day! How are you!

    Dream Guy: Do you want to go to the movies? You can choose what we see.

    Me: Yeah! That would be cool. Shall we meet at the cinema then?

    Ok, does anyone remember this?


    I’m a little concerned that it hasn’t filled up any more yet. Just how long is this game? How many dates are there? I’m getting images of me at age 42, knitting a scarf that says ‘I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND DS’ as I rock back and forth and watch a meter fill.

    But I digress. A text from our bestie:


    Alright , to the cinema!


    We are faced with a hard choice.


    Uuuuh. I have a feeling none of these are Oscar-worthy, somehow. I asked some of the men in my life for a boy’s opinion on what movie would be best, and they all said Safari Through the Savannahs, so there you go.

    Let’s talk to Dreamy and get in there!


    Dream Guy: I was really looking forward to going to the movies with you, but the movie you have chosen is not really my thing.

    Excuse me, but what happened to ‘You can choose what we see’?

    Anyway, I buy tickets AGAIN, this time for ‘A Look at Our World’s Oceans’, but I do have to wait a day before I do. Our guy just stays there until we return.


    Dream Guy: Hey, I’ve wanted to see this film for ages! Shall we go find our seats..?

    We don’t see a film, and instead a box just pops up saying ‘The film is over. Talk to your Dream Guy.’ I see it’s going for a minimalist kind of story telling style.

    Dream Guy: That film was fantastic. And that incredible natural photography. That’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen!

    Me: I thought you would like that film!

    Dream Guy: You were spot on! It was a fantastic evening, but…

    Me: Maybe I’m imagining this, but is there something on your mind?!

    Dream Guy: You notice everything, don’t you? That’s what you call feminine intuition. It’s true.

    Me: Well, tell me.



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  12. exolunar reblogged this from emletsplays and added:
    thisisss is my favourite 1 so far everyone needs to read these this game is fricking ridiculous
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  15. revolutionator reblogged this from emletsplays and added:
    em is spoiling us
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